I am learning what I am going to be like as a grandparent, funny to say that. But I watch what My Mom is like and I don't want to be like that. I know that seems so heartless to say. I want to be the one who spoils and is there for my children when they need me, have the kids come and stay at my house over night to a weekend, or come and hang with me for a summer you name it. I want to be the Nana that they love and are never afraid of and want to hug and kiss me when they see me. That when one of my girls call me up and want me to do something that would only take 2 minutes that I would not find them to be inconvientent but smile that she called me and trusted I would say yes. That I can be someone that they can count on. I want to be that kind of mother as well. so hard to make up all these rules all by myself with no role model to help me out, like it is not a natural thing. I am afriad to ask for help because amny times I get the big answer of no I don't think so. or no I am to busy blah blah blah. My grandparents never even said happy birthday or merry christmas. NOthing. they were never apart of my life I have no idea what its like. Yet my mother is constantly on me to write them since they are old, and love to hear from me. what do I say when i don't even know what type of people thay are? My grand dad did call once to say he was sorry for neglecting me and taht I turned out to be a wonderful women. that was nice, I admitt. I actually heard someone admitt that they have neglected me. So I work hard daily not to repeat the long cycle of emotionally neglect. They always say that I am an over emotional person. hmmmm wonder why? never was allow show any emotion with out getting in trouble unless it was a fake smile. i have stayed next to my parents through thick and thin no matter what just wanting to be loved in the way I need I have come to the conclusion yes they love me, of course they love me but they don't have a way to show it or I should say they choose not too. I am a strong person I have made it through a life time of stuff and i am still a moral, loving, stable person. ( stable person being I am not jumping off cliffs trying to kill myself or hurting mychildren or doing drugs or commiting crimes, who in this world is truely stable mentally? they may pretend but truely i think not LOL)