I feel like that lately I really truley don't belong, I feel like that kid that wants to be hanging out with the "in crowd" being friends with them hanging out with them but feeling like I really don't belong. I would think that after HS that those feeling would go away My gosh i am a 35 yr old women. Why would I care. But I do. No Matter where I go I am dont feel like I fit in. It's a Sad lonely place. For instance I have been going to the same Church since before Audrey was born, and I have not made one real connection with one person there. they are all established in there cliques and I don't fit anywhere. the women my age act to old, the ones that are younger than me, don't have as many children so they don't understand the trying to do anything with 4 children. don't get me wrong I love the way God works in this church and i wouldn't change churches The people are nice blah blah blah... I am just an outsider.
I think sometimes that us moving away wont be to different than living here, I don't see anyone on a regular basis except my children and DH. I will have a house down there. there will be a church and the same meijer just all in a different city. how hard will it be. perhaps it might even be better I dont know. Its nice to know my parents are 5 minutes away from me, though once again don't see them very often either. I live a lonely life
Today is day 7 sparky being gone. My heart hurts for him, I have to stop thinking morbid thoughts though, those are slowing eating me up.
Perhaps I should learn how to turn off my feelings.....
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7 comments:
Sweetheart I Swear we could be Twins! Well except my hair is more Red and i'm short. But Hey Twins! I have Always felt the very Exact same way. If i'm around my good friend Shellys Friends I feel SO out of place. They are all rich and beautiful, thin you name it. I never feel like I fit in. We are Kindred spirits Sweetie! HUGS
Shelly we do understand each other well, soul mates of friends :)
I've felt like that for so long. I'm friendly with people but never really feel like I fit in. All my old friends my age are just now getting married, they don't understand three kids. They think I'm crazy. I guess that I probably am.
Perhaps we all feel that way and just pretend maybe the ones we feel uncomfortable with are feeling the same way? who knows
I am right there with ya.
My friends are either single and partying their butts off or married with kids, don't understand my struggle for kids, and don't have time for me b/c of the kids.
Yup. I hear ya' sister. LOL
You'd think with 4 kids in school that I would have met many people have have a group of "mom friends" by now, especially since my oldest is in the 6th grade, but nope. I see all of them talking and gabbing...and then there's me. :(
Thaks for letting me know that I am not all alone in this struggle Big ol hugs even to Pam i just know how you hate the huggy thing LOL
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